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Jehovah's Witnesses have very strict dating rules. Some things are a matter conscience.

Don't resort to the 'standard' dating methods like going out or going on blind dates; why waste your time on people who don't deserve it? Dating no longer equaled sex the way it had before. Sad sad sad Interesting, at our congregations it was the opposite. God created the earth to be mankind's eternal home.

Jehovah's Witness Dating Rules

Sitting in the Kingdom Hall as a young child, I would hear talks about sex, but they were, for the most part, warnings about what not to do—what was moral and what was not— but mostly not. Masturbation was wrong, mutual masturbation was wrong, and both oral and anal sex were wrong. So I promised myself that as soon I found out what the heck they were, I would never do them. As I grew up, I came to understand what sex is really all about, according to Watchtower teachings. I also heard from the platform and from people at the Hall how it was not good for a man to be alone; that he needed a wife to satisfy his sexual needs. I divorced my husband for spousal abuse at the age of twenty-two. All I knew was that men wanted and needed sex. In my late twenties I started rebuilding my life. I had a severe drinking problem by this time, and needed to sober up. In doing so, I learned about being human. I will never forget one conversation I had over coffee with a group of people while we were talking about my view of relationships. It never occurred to me that I was hurting anyone. Men only wanted sex, right? I needed to call a time out! To be honest, it was overwhelming and I had no idea where to start. After much whining, my friend challenged me. It took over six months for me to come up with a list of twenty-five things — not an easy assignment. When I finished that, she had me create another list of twenty-five qualities that I wanted in a partner. Looks and money were not allowed. I was learning about and setting up boundaries. Dating no longer equaled sex the way it had before. I knew more about myself, I knew what I wanted, and I was no longer willing to settle for just anyone that came along. I became a happy single woman. I even enjoyed living alone. I met the man I am still with today during this blissful time in my life and while still on my honeymoon with myself, so there was no rush. I felt no need to be with someone to fill a void in my life. I found him interesting and wanted to get to know him better. We have been together for sixteen years. I can also say that he hit twenty-four out of the twenty-five qualities that I wanted in a partner. There are morals to my story… One is that the JW view of dating and sex can lead to warped and twisted thinking — that in turn leads to low self-esteem that can lead to harmful situations. Learn who you are and what you want and then move in that direction. The rest will fall into place. I just left the borg 1 year ago and have been single for 12 years since leaving my abusive witness husband. It is difficult to re-enter the dating world being over 50 and not knowing what the world is about after being sheltered so long. Thank you for so eloquently opening my eyes to my value as a person. I am going to make the list you suggested of 25 things I like about myself and what I am looking for. I think the most important thing that happened was getting comfortable with myself. That was the hardest part, but once I got there, it was good. I feel sorry for all whose heart have hardened against the truth. And if you or any one you know had a bad experience with them I feel bad. But I was raised in the truth and I am not in the least confused about love or sex. And considering their overall numbers are small in comparison to other religions then statistically their rates are high per capita. I was a JW for over 40 years and I saw many, many marriages where the couples absolutely hated each other. But the religion does not allow them any graceful way out. On many occasions the women just end up leaving their marriage and the religion. Yes they have lower divorce rates women and children are afarid. They have to go to the elders all men. Why are they all men? Sounds like perverts bigs to. Sad sad sad Interesting, at our congregations it was the opposite. Women were presented as lazy, sex-starved nobodies who were all desperate for men so they could stop working and have babies. The men were presented as something very special and above all these lowly little sisters. Strutting around like they were a grand prize we all lusted after, all of them assuming we single sisters were just waiting in the wings, praying they would look our way. Probably contributed to all the domestic violence I saw as well. God those people screwed me up big time, LOL! I think the misandry I learned as a JW is one thing I hate most of all. Look at all the wonderful, caring men out there, Bo Jensen, Bill Bowen, etc. I read an entry on jwstruggle today and he noted how elders are appointed based on how well they perform all the congregation duties, service, give talks, but how loving they are? I had to get out, get away and actually LEARN ABOUT LOVE! SAD HUH… Their are HUNDREDS of ways to love! I love the way your seeing the different characters when it comes to LOVE! I love the internet for showing me, IM NOT ALONE!!! I LOVE the Ladies, Lol… I love all of you who are trying to RE-LEARN what real love is!!! US MEN ARE OUT THERE, LET US FIND YOU!! As a JW, NO SUCH THING The most patient downfall and KNOWING THE ABUSE TOWARDS WOMEN, Its still an issue! Its just HIDDEN BETTER THESE DAYS! My partner is a JW. He has not been with a woman since his divorce 15 years ago and since that divorce has been very close both geographically and otherwise to his family who are very devout. He is less so due to some things that happened in the fellowship during his divorce. His views about sex and intimacy are an issue in our relationship, as well as the constant pressure to be married. I absolutely respect that there are rules surrounding having sex outside of marriage, and also not living together etc. His attitude towards sex is very dismissive. For a while I thought he was just not that attracted to me physically. Anyway I am not sure how to address this. Any advice would be appreciated. You cant deprogram him. Warning: if you stay together with him you will NEVER have another orgasm again in your life! They also teach that a husband has total authority over his wife. There are plenty of NORMAL men out there. And … dont forget … there will be no Xmas, Easter, Hannukah, Purim, High Holy Days, New Years Eve, birthdays, etc. THE JBUB CULT IS VOID OF ALL JOY. THEY ARE BRAINWASHED ZOMBIES. The way you tell this part of your life is a complete match with mine. I have 2 kids too, but I have found myself, and figured out who I am as a person, one who used to crush easily, to the complete opposite. I can chat with a guy but with no intentions of going any further! I am picky and will not settle for anything less then I deserve like I did in the past. I love who I am as a person and I know what I want. So I will be patient as I do want a husband one day, but like you said, once you have the strength and knowledge of yourself and who you want to spend your life with, the rest will fall into place! Thank you for sharing! Contrast 1 Timothy 2:11, 12. Among the different forms of Catholicism, Mary is often honored ahead of God and Christ. Jesus did not so honor her. John 2:4; 19:26 Could organizations that admit such unlawful female influence really be accepted as Christian?!! Best life ever…no more Jw. And, how did you feel the first time you read this? Likely, she is a woman or group of women acting as a shameless corrupting influence in the congregation. Some associated women may have been involving congregation members in immorality, while brazenly justifying their self-willed course by misapplying scriptures. Now if you would be so kind as to explain what you mean to the non-JWs who read this. The dictionary defines apostate as a person who renounces a religious or political belief or principle. There are JWs who renounced their former religions to become JWs. Again, thank you for your reply. I am from Nigeria. I was born and raised a jw. I seriously think the organization is on the right path when it comes to character building and stuff. But it also has a way of strangling the heart. So u can only imagine going through life with someone of the opposite sex for so long with little or no REAL exiting memories…. I can tell you are a cradle Jdub. You cant read, write or spell, ie, you are uneducated. Your illiteracy detracts from your message. We wouldnt want that — it can be a disfellowshipping offense! Danmera, I think this very personal post put into words what many of us have experienced at a Witness. I was ill-prepared for life as a wife, let alone a JW wife. After getting out of the organization, a very dear friend told me I needed to learn to be alone without being lonely. That was one of those epiphany moments, and truer words were never spoken. Thanks for sharing this experience with us. I know many can relate. I only know all of this from the perspective of a male, growing up in the organization. My mom had much of the same views as you did. Except they were a bit more intense in that she had been molested all through her childhood. She had a strong distaste and distrust for men. She was TERRIFIED that my brother and I would masturbate. It was more than viewing it as wrong. It was an incredible fear for her. So I grew up believing her view of men. It lead to me feeling like a pervert, as well as strangely abnormal for doing what all young dudes do. In fact, I quit pioneering for a few months when I was 17 because I felt that God hated me for masturbating. Sex IS a dirty thing in the org. You are afraid that even you and your WIFE may violate Gods law in the bedroom if things get too hot and heavy. Anyway, that you for that wonderful article. When I hit puberty of course I discovered masturbation. At this age I should have been doing sports, dating, music, and whatever other fun stuff I could have gotten into related to school. Instead I was antisocial, depressed, and obsessed with sex in spite of my wish for the opposite. The watchtower does horrid things to a child coming of age. No wonder we have an influx of teens being kicked to the curb for normal average teen angst behavior. What they need is an understanding non judgemental parent who can walk them through this. Instead they get to be raised in a place where to be normal and healthy is institutionalized as sinful. Tell them not to think of an elephant. You are right, the best way to get someone to think of an elephant is to tell them not to think of an elephant. I always wonder why JWs publications are full of sex and how they love this story of Demons having sex with human wives. I thought it was a kind of warning but finally realized, the opposite is true, they CREATE sex obsession in the mind of readers. What is this for? Consider this true-life example. Daniel and his wife, Sarah, were regular pioneers. He eagerly accepted every privilege that came his way. As part of his ministry, Daniel conducted five Bible studies with young men—three of whom got baptized. These newly baptized brothers needed considerable help. When Daniel was busy with his various theocratic assignments, Sarah often provided that help. A deadly trap had been set. My wife committed adultery with one of my former students. She had become spiritually weak right under my nose, and I was too concerned about all my privileges even to notice it. Nothing is worse than being a cradle jdub. My wife is a Nurse! I expected her to value more being a Nurse than a JW. One day, I was in sitting room watching TV and could hear her teaching two kids, a boy and a girl aged 7 and 8 years! They were our guests in holidays! I could hear her teaching them stupid things about sex and got worried. I read the cahpter and ask her, WHY ARE YOU KILLING THE CHILDREN? I am fighting now to protect my 3-year son from that POISON!!! But they never seem to want to publish the fact that there is no great superiority of the man over the woman. Chauvinism is one of their major problems. Both were equal as human creations. They ought to bring this out from time to time in their literature. There is one thing that the Watchtower Society had never written in their publications. Catholicism had used this word fornication to mean that it included premarital sex. To this day , the Catholic definition of this word includes fornication to mean sex before marriage. This was the sin that was meant in the Gospel writings and the apostolic letters. And without any research into the etymology of this word , that is , a research into the original meaning of the word , the WTS says that it includes premarital sex. They classify this word as meaning adultery , unlawful marriage , prostitution , by 2 or more persons or a beast , and they throw in the act of rape. It was red bricks that were used to build the kilns under the dwellings in early times in Jerusalem. These warming ovens were places in the underworld of Jerusalem where harlots would do their business. So it was clearly stated to those early Christians that HARLOTRY was forbidden for Christians. Was it premarital sex? The Bible speaks against such things somewhat. But it never speaks against having sex before marriage. My point here is that what the Scriptures really say is not necessarily what the Scriptures say. I have downloaded 13 pages off of the Internet of old encyclopedia and dictionary photo-quotes that explain what pornea really meant in the first century. If you think that the word fornication means premarital sex , then you have been mistaken. I would be happy to provide further reference for any who read this. So what has happened over the centuries since Catholicism decided that sex before marriage was the same as fortification is that innocent single Christians have condemned themselves for having sex before marriage. This was a control device in early Catholicism. And then with Protestantism. And they are certainly not faithful to the Scriptures. This is , of course , one of the basic things wrong with the WTO. Never before in the history of apostasy has there been a plan like this. Apostates are going to dress up clean shaven and in suit and tie pretending to be JWs outside of district conventions regional assemblies,etc. You see, JWs like to sugar coat Watchtower doctrine to newly associating ones. Becoming a JW is a persuasive process that requires time. If the doctrine was offered in the raw to everyone they meet, there would be a shock factor and fewer would join. This is what we plan to do — offer the world JW doctrine in the raw. Give the shock factor. There is nothing dishonest about this. Unlike the laughable attempts by apostates in the past, this plan will have the desired effect. With an organization that takes vain pride in itself and its appearance, this will not be taken lightly by the Watchtower. Ask yourself- Has the Watchtower ever tried to put a stop to evangelists or apostates attempting to engage with JWs outside of conventions? The presence of opposers at the conventions actually fires up the JW persecution complex and strengthens the JWs resolve that they have the truth. Will the Watchtower try to thwart our efforts? No doubt, the Watchtower already knows about our plan, and is taking action against it, but if we remain diligent this will be a success! With help from JW insiders we are hoping to soon have copies of this years convention badges. This will make us look authentic. We welcome all Ex-witnesses everywhere to participate in this plan whether in groups or independently and encourage you to make your own catchy signs just as long as they are neat and have actual offensive JW doctrine. Make sure to dress neatly in suit and tie and be well groomed. We are going to act like we are JWs! ALSO, holding these signs directed at worldly passersby is bound to stir up angry emotions from the worldly ones against JWs and the Watchtower. We are expecting that! So if any worldly person gets in our face, we are going to verbally defend the Watchtower as the one and only true religion and shout right back at them! This is gonna be a load of fun…spread the word…be there! Mainly are pure sex and sex alone DEMONS! Being raised to SUPPRESSED FEELINGS! Depression, isolated from others! USUALLY BEFORE MY PARENTS SAID THEY LOVED ME HEAR IT COMES A SERIOUS BEATING And yes, bloody noses, dislocations and bruises! Now, take that so CALLED LOVE and get me to love a SISTER? It was a case of what would the neighbors think. I finally learned I was getting nothing but used as I had no idea how to date Without trying to discredit the WT, it must be recognized that Witnesses are left on their own when it comes to sex, relationships, break ups, mental health, etc. Most of the articles present the whole subject as a series of dictates and some cold and stern mandates. Within such a tight frame a young witness is to find its own sexuality and define it. It is an incredibly difficult task. Who can tell in all honesty that a WT article has helped them in learning about sex? The basic anatomical aspects of sex? The stages of sex in life? The various forms of sex? What about the more important, intimate aspects around sex and Love, how the intertwine and melt, how they need to be present together? What about the idea that men ACTUALLY NEED affection, mutuality, caring, kindness? No usually, the typical WT article on the subject is a reprint of what the Bible says, that, while completely wholesome, it looses all of its power if presented as dictate. What the Bible says, monogamy, faithfulness, commitment should be the result of an open, unafraid, clear analysis of the subject, with NO taboos but simply a clear explanation of all of the beautiful and difficult feelings that revolve around the most wonderful gift God gave us: Love. God is not afraid of Love and Sex, WHY SHOULD WE??? This is one horrible cult…nothing to do with a good and kind caring God! The damage they do to a person is horrifying…to add insult to injury…while one was raised in this so called Godly enviroment…one was being molested as a child……in my mind…. Go figure…Head scratching to this day! Bring these joksters down…. Me to when I stuck up for myself…Co and elders quickly turned in Rev. I have NO respect for GB of Jw. Thanx for this little place to…vent…; Excellent and beautifully written article! Once I read the first few words, I was hooked. It kept me interested all the way through to the end. This was definitely a topic that needed to be closely examined, and closely and phenomenally examined it was. This makes me think about my own experience with the WT and how it could have impacted my life in terms of dating and relationships. After, I am a 28-year-old male, soon to be 29, that is still single and has not had not one serious relationship in my life. I never even got up to the point of dating within the organization. It was always unclear to me as to how a relationship was even initiated within the organization. Someone told me, however, that if a brother had an interest in a sister he would invite her to work with him out in the ministry, and this would then lead up to texting back and forth and other forms of communication. A sister and I started texting close to the time of my exit. Had I not left a relationship might have developed. Ernesto has the right idea. Confronting them is a waste of time because they expect persecution and I think desire it. Forcing them to deal with the public is more effective. Talking to the public alongside their food carts or passing out literature is also very effective. I recommend doing this only on public property, which is the most effective anyway. I too got married for the reason of not having to go the bathroom often to relieve that feeling. I did not want to marry for many reasons.

Your daughter you must not give to his son, and his daughter you must not take for your son. I am u to make the list you suggested of 25 things I like about myself and what I am looking for. Anyway I am not sure how to address this. Homosexuality, premarital sex, and abortion are considered sins to Jehovah's Witnesses. They base their beliefs solely on the Bible. I had to get out, get solo and actually LEARN ABOUT LOVE. When angered, Jehovah is capable of wiping out entire nations in a fit of rage. The various forms of sex. The Bible speaks against such things somewhat. In a healthy dating relationship, there must be a balance of time to ensure that caballeros are growing closer together without losing sight of their faith.